Darth Double Bladed Lighsaber Maul
by SithMasterYoda
Summary: A tale of a Sith Lord's annoing nick name.


Darth "Double-Bladed Lightsaber" Maul  
  
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing.  
In this story, Maul has a NORMAL lightsaber, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.   
  
  
SCENE: A Studio  
Note: The Obi-Wan I use is from AOTC. So, in other words, he's got a beard.  
  
  
  
  
Qui-Gon Jinn (the host) Last week, the Royal Festival Hall on Coruscant saw the first performance of a new symphony by one of the   
galaxy's leading composers, Darth "Double-Bladed Lightsaber" Maul. Lord Maul.  
  
Darth Maul: Good Evening.  
  
Qui-Gon: If I may sidetrack you for just a moment, Lord Maul? This......... what shall I call it........... nickname of yours......  
  
Darth Maul: Ah, yes.  
  
Qui-Gon: "Double-Bladed Lightsaber." How did you come by it?  
  
Darth Maul: Well, I don't use it myself. It's just my Master and a few Dark Side friends call me "Double-Bladed Lightsaber".  
  
Qui-Gon: I see. And do you in fact have a double-bladed lightsaber?  
  
Darth Maul: No, no. Just a one-bladed lightsaber (like everyone else). I've had it for some time now. But a few years ago I told my Master  
I was thinking of making a double-bladed lightsaber, and since then my friends and my Master have called me "Double-Bladed Lightsaber".   
  
Qui-Gon: In spite of the fact that you have a single-bladed lightsaber?  
  
Darth Maul: Yes.  
  
Qui-Gon: And do you intend to make a double-bladed lightsaber?  
  
Darth Maul (impatient): No!  
  
Qui-Gon: To bring you in line with your epithet?  
  
Darth Maul: No.  
  
Qui-Gon: I see, I see. Well, now to return to your symphony.  
  
Darth Maul: Finally! I shall now reveal my talents to the galaxy! At last I will have revenge!  
  
Qui-Gon: Did you write this symphony while making your double-bladed lightsaber?  
  
Darth Maul (angry): No!   
  
Qui-Gon: Have you written any of your works while making this double-bladed lightsaber?  
  
Darth Maul: No, no, not at all. It's just a ordinary single-bladed lightsaber!  
  
  
(the screen behind them comes on with a picture of Darth Maul's lightsaber from TPM)  
  
  
Qui-Gon: I see. And you're thinking about making a double-bladed lightsaber to help make your next  
symphony?  
  
Darth Maul: No, no. Look, this lightsaber business--it doesn't matter. My lightsaber isn't important. A few friends and my Master call me "Double-Bladed Lightsaber"   
and that's all there is to it. I wish you'd ask me about my music. Everyone talks about my lightsaber. They've got it out of proportion -- I'm a composer.  
I'm going to get rid of it. I'm sick of it!  
  
Qui-Gon: Then you'd be Darth "No-Lightsaber" Maul!  
  
Darth Maul (angry): Look, forget about the lightsaber!! It doesn't matter!!  
  
Qui-Gon: Lord Maul: I think, with respect we ought to talk about your symphony.  
  
Darth Maul: What?  
  
Qui-Gon: Apparently, your symphony was written for organ and timpani.  
  
Darth Maul (looking behind him): What's that?!  
  
Qui-Gon: What's what?  
  
Darth Maul: It's a double-bladed lightsaber --- get it off!!   
  
  
(Qui-Gon nods to someone, and the double-bladed lightsaber disappears, and is re-placed with a picture of Maul)  
  
  
Darth Maul: All right.  
  
Qui-Gon: Now, then, Lord Maul, your sypmhony.  
  
  
(the screen behind them changes from the picture to the words: Darth "Double-Bladed Lightsaber" Maul)  
  
  
Qui-Gon: I understand that you used to be interested in starship-spotting.  
  
Darth Maul: What?  
  
Qui-Gon: I understand that about 30 years ago you were very interested in starship-spotting.  
  
Darth Maul: What's that got to do with my bloody music?  
  
  
(Obi-Wan enters)  
  
  
Obi-Wan: Are you having any trouble with him?  
  
Qui-Gon: Yes, a little.  
  
Obi-Wan (grabing Maul's left arm): Well, we interviewers are more than an match for the likes of you, "Double-Bladed Lightsaber."  
  
Qui-Gon: Yeah, make yourself scarce, "Double-Bladed Lightsaber." The studio isn't big enough for the three of us. (kicks Maul out)  
  
Obi-Wan: Get your own Arts program, you Sith Lord fairy.  
  
Qui-Gon (looking at the camera): Darth "Double-Bladed Lightsaber" Maul.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
